Dear November 2018,
When at times I feel like a failure, and I've failed quite a bit this month, I can't help but wish there was no wickedness in this world. I can't help but wish that there weren't evil desires, deception, lies...to cut to the chase: I wish man didn't have to battle between flesh and spirit.
Realizing that this world will never be in total peace, I have to keep on my toes in my relationship with Christ. There will always be a battle between flesh and spirit. No, I cannot let sin reign in my life. Jesus can break those chains, though. I have to daily choose good, choose Jesus. And I have to be wise enough to gather the all the fruit of the spirit and put on the whole armor of God.
I couldn't think of how I wanted to word this blogpost because really, this is meant to be between me and God. But I realize that other Christians are struggling as well. I so desperately want them to know that they're not alone. They're not the only ones who have bad times. I've come to a conclusion that this letter is best written as a prayer. I want to share it with my followers. Not for attention, but for hope. Hope for you, hope for December, and hope for me. So, here goes...
I am a constant failure. I in myself will never be enough. I can't even balance on my own two feet most days. What makes me think that I can control my own life, let my flesh win?
Everywhere I turn is sin, wickedness, and immoral pleasures. Your Word says that pleasure in sin only lasts for a season. So, forgive me Lord, for looking around at the world. Nothing here can or ever will be able to satisfy my longing soul. But I know something that can...Your love, Your care for me, Your peace. It brings joy. Jesus, help me to remember that. I will never be able to find satisfaction in a world that's constantly searching for something other than You to satisfy their starving souls.
I can't thank You enough for bearing the weight of my sins on Your back as blood trickled down Your forehead from the crown of thorns the world placed on Your head. Even with Your hands nailed to a cross, they still reached out to a wretched sinner like me. What love! I can't even begin to understand why You would love someone like me. You had every right to not go through with dying for the sinful world, but you chose to because You loved us. I won't ever be able to comprehend Your vast love, even for the people who nailed You to a wooden cross.
Your mercy, it will run out one day to this lost and dying world. Help them to see, and help me to be serious in this thing, Jesus. I pray that now, I never take claiming a title such as Christian lightly. Give me a vision God, heaven is real and so is hell. May I never take it lightly. Salvation is a serious thing not to be tossed around.
Give me strength Jesus. Strength to walk out of temptation a victor in Your name. I know I'm as weak as ever on my own. I can't put one foot in front of the other on my own. I can't bear the thought of being in this lonesome world without a companion Who will love me no matter what. I have a hope that one day I can see You, and thank You in person. That I can live in a home without temptation, sin, and evil.
Jesus, give me new desires and create in me a clean heart. Sin will take me farther than I ever want to go. I don't want swallowed up in it again. I desire the joy that only You can bring. I realize that I have to work at it too, it won't just come if I sit back on my thumbs and do nothing. So Jesus, have mercy on me. I'm so undeserving of Your love, mercy, and grace. But oh, am I so thankful that You still stretch out Your hand.
Once again, forgive me of all my sins. I'm nothing. You are everything.
I want You, Jesus. Not the emptiness of this world, because this world leaves me feeling like a cold winter night. I want to be full of hope and warmth, just like the season of spring. Warm me up, Jesus.
I'll Keep Smiling,
Hi there! It's Katlyn Grace, here you will find letters from my heart to yours. Letters of encouragement and growth. Letters for me and for you. <3
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